Keisha Strickland
Mr. Cooper
CRWR 212-Y
3/13/2014
Force of Nature
The gusts of wind howl through the trees, and they sway precariously close to where I sit.
Still, I sit perfectly still as I let the cool air bluster around me. Wind used to terrify me
as a small child; now I find the vastness of its power awe-inspiring.
The sky has become clouded with greys, and blues so dark they’re almost black. The
clouds seemingly fly across the sky as if they have somewhere more important to
be; like there is another destination that they must reach, and time is short.
The once sun-warmed grass has grown colder beneath my feet, and even the green
blades are not immune from the wrath of the angry wind. They shake and shudder
against the force, and I start to move across them, quickening my steps.
The door of an old, dilapidated building bangs ominously, its ungreased hinges
screaming their displeasure. I finally reach my car and look back up at the sky
once more. Wind is a picky painter, and the scene has changed again. 
10 comments:
Hi Keisha,
I really enjoyed your work here.
I love the personification of wind howling and the clouds moving through the sky as if they had somewhere else to be, and the various descriptions and details provided.
Excellent use of enjambment not only within but between stanzas.
I will say that when you mentioned being terrified of wind as a child I was really hoping for more exploration into that time, into the various 'natural' fears that children encounter.
Also, the shaking and shuddering of the grass, the isolation of it all could be a poem of its own.
Each stanza, though delightfully written in tercets, could potentially be its own piece.
You isolate a moment in each, which is certainly an intriguing aspect of your piece, but I feel like certain details are unexplored: childhood fears, individual aspects of nature, the dilapidated door, you reaching your car, the wind as painter.
Some much beauty in this piece and so much more potential beauty as well.
Well done!
Prof. Cooper
I loved this piece, Keisha. It reminds me so much of "The Wizard of Oz". You use a great deal of personification in this piece, most effectively in the line "Wind is a picky painter and the scene has changed again". Wind is amazingly powerful and it has the capacity to change our world, which is quite an amazing concept. This is further illustrated through the imagery of the grass being a victim of the roughness of the wind; it is as though everything on Earth is susceptible to wind. The setting of the poem is somewhat ambiguous but I am quite curious about it. Is it at your home or another location? Is it perhaps an abstract location? Great piece!
This poem is very intriguing. It resonates with me because one day last week I was standing in the dog park as the sky changed and it kind of reminded me of life in general. On any given day it can be beautiful outside and then a storm can change the sky to darkness. I like how the poem flows in open form, and how you use the personification of nature to describe life and the choice to stay in the storm or seek shelter.
Thanks for sharing,
Jason Faulkner
Hi Keisha,
I liked your poem a lot. Lots of strong imagery in this, such as your "sky has clouded with greys" and "gusts of wind howling through the trees". I think the best use of personification was the "ungreased hinges screaming their displeasure" - great line. I also loved how cleanly you ended the poem with your last line...describing the wind as a picky painter hits on the unpredictability of nature and it's ever changing cycles.
Nice work!
Denise Bateman
Hey Keisha. Your work this week was awesome. I love how you used personification throughout to bring out the life in nature. You did a good job of bringing things that some see as lifeless into being. I love that you used your diction and point of view to portray this scene, only to personify the wind as a painter in the end. I really enjoyed how you had the realization within the piece that as you grow older you grow more appreciative of nature and it's powers. Your tone of wonder made this piece even more enticing. Great work!
Hi Keisha!
I really enjoyed reading your work this week! Your theme about the power of nature is very true. Nature is normally so beautiful and calm, but there are times where it’s almost angry at everything around it and attempts to punish us almost. The power of nature never ceases to both amaze and terrify me. I also appreciated the juxtaposition between the calm tone of the poem and the powerful images that were anything but calm. You did a really great job here!
~Crystal
Hello Keisha,
Your work was very nice and is very mind blowing. I like the way you describe the wind as being a "painter". This adds personification to the wind and makes it life like even though it really isn't, demonstrating how the wind is living and feels. The tone of this poem is very optimistic but yet gloomy through the description of the setting and what is occurring. Very good job!
Deyanira Bustos
Hi Keisha,
I like how this poem is about how nature is interacting with the speaker. The perspective in this poem is of that of the human being affected by nature. I like how you are direct with your meaning. We don't see too much connotation, but a greater use of denotation. I love the imagery you use when describing the colors of the sky. These colors help me see the various emotion one can feel when looking at the endless sky. I also like how you incorporate the theme of time into this piece. We see that as the sky moves along time passes on and we cannot get it back.
--Monique Ahmad
Keisha,
I really liked how you started off your poem with the personification of the wind. I loved the imagery you used when painting the stormy sky. It had such a peaceful tone even with the storm coming in. I loved the alliteration in the last line of wind being a "picky painter." Great job! I really enjoyed this piece!
Rebecca
Keisha,
I truly think your piece is absolutely incredible I enjoyed this one a lot. I think focusing this piece just on the power of wind was fantastic. I also loved how this piece seemed like a story, it made me feel like I was in your mind, watching this, or was beside you. Your descriptions were very well done and the tone of your piece was very clear, which is the force of wind. I also feel your tone was supported by your title. When I read the title, I instantly imagined a hurricane (possibly because I'm from Florida) and was very pleased when I started to read about the storm. I also had a good laugh at the line "The
clouds seemingly fly across the sky as if they have somewhere more important to
be; like there is another destination that they must reach"
I can't find a single aspect that I would critique of this piece, except possibly that I would love to see more simply because it's well done. Your use of enjambment to emphasize form was useful in creating a story-like scenario. Very very well done!
Thanks so much for sharing,
Claire Smithers
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