Cooper
CRWR 212
6 March 2014
They Never Asked
I don't know why.
I don't know how.
I just never had to.
My parents never asked me.
Maybe they didn't care.
It was just me... alone.
I had my blanket,
then I had my doll,
now I have my teddy bear.
I was a loner
and my parents knew that
I was the child that did everything right.
So what was the point of talking
when they already knew,
but they didn't know and they still don't know...
It was a lonely world.
I never had to express my feelings,
not to anyone ...only to myself.
So now when he asked me
how do I feel?
I keep everything to myself.
He wonders why I never express,
why I never tell him how I feel
and the only thing I manage to say is
I don't know why.
I don't know how.
I just never had to express my feelings.
9 comments:
Hey Lexie,
The theme of your poem seems to be one of childhood emotional isolation morphing into the inability of the adult now to effectively express her emotions. The image of the child being alone with just a blanket and doll to comfort her and keep her company is sad, and powerful, and enhances the tone of solitude and emotional longing.
Nice job...I enjoyed the poem.
Denise Bateman
Lexie,
In these last two pieces I really feel your poetic soul coming through.
First off, the use of punctuation, particularly in the first and final stanzas acts so definite, so final that I believe you've really captured the purpose and significance of the period, its definitive statement. Also ellipses, though sometimes overused by writers, are quite compelling here in that they emphasize absence, absence of thought, emotion, intention, what have you.
I find that your poems, this one especially are composed with very young narrators dealing with quite mature issues, perhaps well beyond their time. Yet they seem to have firm control, or confidence, even in their insecurity.
Excellent use of enjambment and literal language throughout your piece dealing with such a penetrating, convoluted, yet entirely universal theme.
Who is the 'he' at the end? Is this a father, a lover, again the ambiguity is intriguing and well-played.
I would love to see further details provided. I seem to see quite a bit of telling your story but you don't as thoroughly paint the picture. Consider further embellishment of figurative language, and continued use of poetic license.
Well done!
Prof. Cooper
Lexie,
I think this is really great. First, I love how your first stanza is an open question and leaves the reader wondering, and the last stanza is the same thing except the question is answered. I really felt sympathetic while reading this piece, I feel like this might have been tough to write but it came from the heart. I think your use of punctuation was really well done, it helped me know when to pause and continue while I read this. I think it's hard to write short lines but still create some sort of meaningful message, but you pulled it off really well. The simplicity of this piece added to the innocent and secluded tone. This piece was very creative, well done!
Thank you
Claire Smithers
Hi Lexi. Your piece this week was very emotionally stimulating. The imagery of a child holding a blanket alone was signifying for how you were isolated since youth. I have noticed that usually your pieces have a theme of simplicity and innocence attached to them. The conflict of having emotions but no confidant to share them with. I can feel your loneliness through your piece and your use of diction. Very well done in my opinion.
Lexie,
I really loved the theme of your poem. Childhood is a time that shapes us significantly, and even though parents may have good intentions, their approach can sometimes might not be the best for us in the long run. I felt that was what your poem was expressing.
The narrator's voice was quite strong, and I felt her sadness and loneliness. Your use of enjambment was excellent, and it kept the piece flowing nicely.
It would be good to include more imagery to really set the scene in this poem. I felt the emotional heartache of your narrator, and I think with more detail it could have an even greater impact.
Good job!
Hi Lexie,
Your piece for this week was very interesting and emotional. I like the repetition that you incorporated at the beginning and at the end of your piece. It allows the reader to understand why this first stanza was important and significant. The tone of your story sounds very sad and mellow when you discuss about your child hood and why you are the way you are. I like how you incorporated the blanket, doll, and teddy bear into your work because they provide a sort of symbolism into the work since they were symbolic to you and were a form of attachment that allowed you to feel accompanied. Great work!
Deyanira Bustos
Lexie,
I really liked this poem. I loved how you started and ended with the same stanzas, but you added a conclusion to the last stanza. I felt it gave great closure to the poem. We can understand the struggle the narrator faces with expressing his/her feelings. You use a caesura at the end of the 5th stanza. I think it gives the reader the time to stop and think about they are reading. It allows the readers to feel as the narrator does.
--Monique Ahmad
Hi Lexie!
I could really relate to your piece. I’ve also been one to keep my feelings to myself. I learned only on that that is the only way to survive. I can also relate to the frustration that one feels when something is wrong, but people still don’t care to ask why or even how. The tone of this piece wavered between frustration and sadness. I also appreciated the juxtaposition between the isolation you felt from your parents and how you specifically mentioned items that brought you comfort. Typically parents are the ones to do that, but no in your case, material items gave you some sense of peace, or at least that is how I took it. By the way, thanks for such a stunning example of enjambement. Thanks for sharing!
~Crystal
Lexie,
This was a really good piece. Your use of literal language throughout it made me feel sympathetic towards the narrator. The juxtaposition between the comfort of your things and the isolation of your parents really contributed to the tone. Also adding to the innocent tone is how simple your piece is. There was also a really great example of enjambment too. I really enjoyed this!
Rebecca
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