Rebecca Moore
Joseph Cooper
CRWR 212
2/6/14
This Is a Photograph of Me
Curls?
Shaped.
Face?
Painted.
Eyes?
Gleaming.
Smile?
Wide.
The costume is complete,
ready for the stage in the wings.
The audience is seated.
Anticipating, watching, waiting.
Criticizing.
But it was perfect.
Nothing bad to be said about the
show.
Nothing bad to be said about what was
seen.
But the audience doesn’t know
that every rehearsal
was a mess.
9 comments:
Rebecca, I love that you used the image of a stage. To me, it sounds like you want to give your best for others because in turn you will be rewarded. I enjoy yours especially as a theater girl. I would suggest adding more about the show. What show is it? What character have you rehearsed?
Hi Rebecca,
I have always loved the metaphor of life as a stage. It is a timeless depiction of life as (semi-)real, acted out, intending to explore true emotion, yet rehearsed and timed and choreographed to the minute.
But life doesn't work that way.
So is this a depiction of false, or alternate you? Are we to believe that you a character in your own play/musical?
I want to experience the preparation, the development of this life. Furthermore, though you are center stage, if you will, I'm not entirely seeing the intimacy of your character. Who are you underneath the makeup, the preparation, the lines, and so forth?
I do love that everyone we encounter is simply an audience member/co-star in our own cinematic transformation.
Though I really enjoyed what you've written here, I wonder what the poem would expose by depicting the rehearsals instead of your stage entrance.
Be sure to provide more figurative language, even elaborating on this concept more thoroughly.
Excellent work here!
Prof. Cooper
Hi Rebecca,
I really like your metaphor of life as a stage. I think most all of us can relate to feeling like we are all characters in life's big show, that we all have certain and varying parts to play. We all to a certain degree wear many varying masks in life...sometimes by choice, other times as means of survival.
Denise Bateman
Rebecca,
I love the use of rhetorical questions and how you directly answered them right after asking them. I also enjoyed the imagery used in this poem. It helped me see all the effort put into your performances.
--Monique Ahmad
This is so creative! I really like the visual of the stage and having all of the mess behind the scenes away from other people. Do you see yourself as a performer, of sorts?
Rebecca,
I really enjoyed your poem! I like the rhythm at the beginning with the one word question and answer for each stanza. The metaphor of the stage to depict your life, and how people observing maybe don't see how much work you put in is great. I thought your poem was simple and therefore effective in conveying exactly what you meant. Good job!
--Keisha Strickland
I love the metaphore of the stage, and how it's form is simple but yet effective. It reminds me of the movie Black Swan excellent work!
Jason Faulkner
Hi Rebecca!
I just want to begin by saying that I really enjoyed reading your poem. You definitely bared yourself to the audience in a way that many people may not be comfortable with, which I admire. Your vulnerability at the end was palpable. Great job!
On a more mechanical note, I really liked how you utilized the metaphor for life as a stage. In a way I believe that metaphor is absolutely true. People only show others what they believe that they want to see, which is a flawless depiction of life. You made that point quite well. I must say that I liked how you contrasted the show with the rehearsal. It's like you were saying that the rehearsal is more real than the show will ever be. Is that true of your work?
The way the poem is written I understood the main character to be yourself, which I'm sure is true, but would you say that the "you" in rehearsal is a foil of the "you" that goes out on stage?
I can't wait to read more of your work!
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