Kaitlin Dixon
Prof. Cooper
CRWR 212
2/27/2014
Addiction
Never
sleeping
Only wishing
To conquer
this.
Here is
where
I make my
Next move to
Get over this.
I can
finally
See the truth.
We never were
Ourselves together.
Reversed roles
Sent us spiraling
Eternally.
Tell me that
Helping me was
Anything but
Nicety.
Bring to light
Every truth
In this.
Never say
Good bye.
Again I fall
Down this well.
Drop me
If you won’t
Catch me.
Tell me
Everything you
Didn’t tell me.
Talk about all
Our feelings.
Yes, I feel insane
Over this friendship.
Unfortunately I want more.
.
8 comments:
Hi Kaitlin,
This is a great example of poetry with line breaks, utilizing enjambment within the stanzas. Consider how incorporating it between stanzas may alter the meaning and impact of a single line. That is, of course, the intention of breaking lines, to emphasize a word or line.
While I love the themes of love and lost love I'm always curious how to make them new, develop them from otherwise cliche imagery or storytelling. I think you begin to develop new concepts behind lost love by comparing it to addiction with your title. How can you elaborate on addiction?
I love the imagery of spiraling, of falling down a well, but I'm wondering what other images, what other personal details that make your relationship unique, you can offer your reader to make this poem more unique.
What is the truth?
What are the reversed roles?
What are your feelings?
What about all this is driving you insane?
And ultimately, why would you want more?
Furthermore, how can you make your experience more universal?
I think these are necessary questions that your reader is entitled to, so consider perhaps showing/exposing more of these details rather than simply saying they exist.
Excellent work!
Prof. Cooper
I think that this piece would speak to so many people. I really liked your use of figurative language to describe a truth as a light. It's a common device, but it's great nonetheless. The image of the two bodies falling down something resembling a well is also a startling device since it symbolizes a loss of control. Your choice of words (syntax) in the line "Anything but Nicety" is great; it adds a flow while also being unexpected. Good job!
Anna Boyer
Hey Kaitlin,
I like your piece very much, it is very emotional and touching and many people are able to relate to it as well. The syntax structure was simple but yet helps convey the message that you are trying to portray. I like how you include symbolism of the well in order to express how this relationship, if not functional, will send you off into a dark abyss of sadness and frustration. The emphasis of the word "again" also allows us to note that you have been hurt like this before making it harder on yourself to let go and want to go through it "again". The tone of your work is very desperate and frustrated trying to obtain answers and to know the truth because this friendship is driving you "insane". Very good job!
Deyanira Bustos
Hey Kaitlin,
I like your piece very much, it is very emotional and touching and many people are able to relate to it as well. The syntax structure was simple but yet helps convey the message that you are trying to portray. I like how you include symbolism of the well in order to express how this relationship, if not functional, will send you off into a dark abyss of sadness and frustration. The emphasis of the word "again" also allows us to note that you have been hurt like this before making it harder on yourself to let go and want to go through it "again". The tone of your work is very desperate and frustrated trying to obtain answers and to know the truth because this friendship is driving you "insane". Very good job!
Deyanira Bustos
Hi Kaitlin!
I really loved your piece. It spoke to me on many, many levels. I must say that tone of your piece hit me first. It has a desperate tone that is full of wanting and needing something that you’re not getting. Then the metaphor of this relationship compared to an addiction was also powerful. I think all relationships are similar to addictions in that you for better or for worse you keep going back for more. In this case, it was bad and all you wanted to do what get over it, but you couldn’t because the addiction just keeps pulling you back in. It’s a powerful thought and image. You definitely took us on a very emotional journey.
Thanks for sharing such a wonderfully touching piece!
~Crystal
Very creative, I like how you use "Nothing is worse than being addicted to you." It’s very figurative while literal at the same time. Comparing addiction to love, it makes one ask is the subject about self worth, love lost, or the roller coaster that we put love on? However, it is the understatement of the piece that makes it so interesting.
Thanks for sharing
Jason Faulkner
I like how you chose to compose a free verse. Even though there is a rhyme pattern, the lines don't have a pattern. I liked the way it make the poem flow.I like how in the sixth stanza you chose to use the word "me" every other line. I think it had a good impact on the overall poem. The tone is this poem was very well portrayed. It allowed be to feel the same emotion as the author.
--Monique Ahmad
Kaitlin,
I really enjoyed your poem. Your use of imagery was great, and it helped me understand the feeling of love as an addiction. The figurative language was used really well. I liked how you broke up the lines and your stanzas, because it added a great rhythm.
The tone of your piece is very emotional, and I appreciated that. Good job!
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