I'm posting my second attempt at a prose poem this week. Enjoy!
Crystal Fulp
Cooper
CRWR 212Y
2/27/14
Cosmetics
and Shame
Looking into the mirror I see my
reflection. I see a round, plain face painted with makeup and powders. It’s
sort of like those cute, miniature dogs that people put in costumes or even how
overbearing mothers paint their toddlers like Barbie dolls in hopes of winning
pageants. It’s just a costume. It’s just an attempt at being “normal” or even
attempting to be “pretty”.
At the end
of the day what remains is a poor substitution for the real thing. As I wipe
away layer after layer of chemically enhanced cosmetics, I feel like a raging volcano
getting ready to explode. Why? Why have I chosen to buy into the hype? Why do I
believe that these products will ever make me anything other than what I am?
Why is how I look not acceptable? Why are all women expected to enjoy covering
our true identities? Why are we not enough as God made us? Why am I not good
enough for myself? These questions swirl around and around in my head. It feeds
my anger until it’s a blazing inferno threatening to break free and destroy me.
After all
the muck and gunk has been removed what remains is the truth. It’s the truth in
its purest form. However, as much as it pains me, tomorrow I will trudge back
into the bathroom and reapply my “costume.” Shame envelops me as I apologize to
myself in the mirror. My reflection nods as if she can understand, but I know
she doesn’t. As I leave the bathroom I ask, “Mirror, Mirror on the wall who is
the fakest one of all?”
9 comments:
Hi Crystal,
This is a wonderful prose poem. You've really done it this time.
First off, I want to make a title suggestion: Cosmetic Shame. Just eliminate the 'and'. Either way it's your decision.
The opening paragraph so aptly introduces us as you question your costume. This is immediately a universal subject because I think we all, male and female, question our identities at points in our lives, but women specifically, applying makeup and suffering perhaps more intensely from socially constructed idealistic expectation, in so many words, become puppets to these expectations of social constraint.
I questioned whether or not the use of questions was too self-indulgent in this piece, but then it occurred to me that that was perhaps the intention as the self-inquisition mounts layer after layer feeding us further down the rabbit hole of doubt and insecurity.
I loved the metaphor of anger as a blazing inferno, and the alliteration of "muck and gunk" and the assonance of "removed what remains".
Is there any value in making this less personal and expanding your observations of yourself outward, projecting them more on our culture so inundated with beauty images so air-brushed they become impossible to achieve?
Excellent work!
Prof. Cooper
Hey Crystal,
I think post speaks well to how society does put a lot of pressure on women to conform to a preconceived ideal of beauty. I think you did a good job of letting your reader know that the narrator of your piece felt both anger and shame for wearing makeup to change her appearance, and I think the tone of the poem was almost one of disappointment in feeling that the narrator was portraying a fake, costumed image to the world. I would play devil's advocate to a degree here, though, because I personally think that there is nothing wrong with a woman wanting to enhance her looks with makeup if that makes her feel more beautiful and confident - would be the same as wearing nice clothes or styling one's hair. I think as women we are responsible to ourselves to know what we are comfortable with as an individual and act accordingly. And with that said, I think because your poem made me consider both sides it was a very effective piece. Nice job.
Denise Bateman
Hey Crystal, I love your comparison of your reflection to a costume. I really liked the theme of self consciousness and how you used it to relate to the society we live in. I also enjoy how you referenced Snow White's evil queen in the end with the quote. I felt like your point of view on the subject was well thought out and well depicted. Your angry and ashamed tones really made your piece powerful and striking. I would love to see more added, but your piece serves great as it is.
As a woman who loves make-up, I really appreciated your tone in this piece. The narrator is having an inner conflict with herself and she becomes confused and angry. The questions you bring up are truly profound. The image of the woman in the mirror and the narrator herself are like foils: one is disgusted with herself for buying into the beauty industry lies and the other is a pretend version of her that is acceptable to society. Even though all of the dialogue is in the narrator's head, she really is having a conversation with herself. I thoroughly enjoyed this piece and I look forward to future ones.
Hi Crystal,
This prose poem was absolutely amazing. What you chose to write about is very true and I am sure many girls can relate to this. The tone of your work seams to be of shame and misery to the idea of how much makeup is needed in order to fulfill oneself to think they are good enough. I love the simile's that you incorporate into the work when describing how the makeup is a "costume". I love how you compare the use of makeup to the way dogs are dressed and how children are as well when competing in pageants. Your poem speaks the truth and I love the last line of your poem when you state "Mirror, Mirror on the wall who is the fakest one of all?" That was perfect. Great Job!
Deyanira Bustos
Crystal,
First, I just want to say that I love the meaning of the story. This problem is so prominent in our lives.
The entire piece is a conflict between ones desires and the pressure we receive from those around us. I love the imagery you used in this. It really helped me see how you the narrator sees herself in the mirror. I also found the repetition of "Why?" really powerful. It emphasizes our confusion for following illogical trends.
--Monique Ahmad
I like how the prose gives new meaning to natural beauty and raises the question of why don't we unmask ourselves. The repetition of, “why," gives the reader insight into the message your trying to convey, while making it dramatic. "Mirror mirror on the wall, which is the fakest of them all," makes the reader think you’re trying to convey a more figurative meaning of beauty and image.
Thanks for sharing,
Jason Faulkner
Crystal,
I really, really do enjoy this piece. I think this is a great example of objectification and social injustice in terms of appearance for women. I liked your use of parallelism:
"It’s just a costume. It’s just an attempt at being "normal" or even attempting to be “pretty”."
Though maybe you could have combined these sentences.
I also thought your use of rhetorical questions were great, as if you were asking both yourself and the reader. It makes this piece more intense and thought provoking. I also wonder about the intense self-criticism of this piece. It's not necessarily the narrator's fault, but more of society's fault. So maybe draw into the self-construction that society forces upon women.
Thanks for this!
Claire Smithers
Crystal,
This was such a great prose poem! I love that you wrote about an important social issue that women in particular face. I thought your figurative language of a blazing inferno was wonderful, and I thought the narrator's voice in this poem was quite strong. I think you have a lot to say on this issue and it shows. I'd love to see it expanded on in the future. Great job!
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