Cooper
CRWR212
20 February 2014
Exploring the Dark Content
Thursday, February 20, 2014
Exploring the Dark Content
Lexie Johnson
Cooper
CRWR212
20 February 2014
The bee is exploring the essence of this prepossessing flower. Its tantalizing, glorious, irresistible and tempting. The petals are fleecy, satiny, and smooth. The bright pink stigma is feathery, velvety and warm. Pollination does not apply to this dark ravishing pure flower. It is different. It is lethal and will trap you like a spider in its web of silky delicacy. The bee did not know. The bee did not care that the flower was a deceitful toxin and went to caress the petals. All the way down to the stigma it got until the flower decided to work its mysterious magic but the caressing was pleasurable. Flower enjoyed it and pollination just sort of happened.
Cooper
CRWR212
20 February 2014
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11 comments:
Hi Lexie,
This is very intriguing piece, really capturing the sensuality and then cruelty in attempted pollination. I loved the repetition in listing the various gerunds, and descriptive details, almost like describing a beautiful woman elegantly dressed for an evening out, perhaps a fatal adventure.
At first the relationship is solely between the bee and flower, but then you introduce "you" into the poem, that it "will trap you" which makes me consider even beyond the descriptive details internally working throughout this piece, but furthermore that this poem will trap you, the reader, that you will be seduced by its velvety, warm caresses.
This interaction personifies mystery, seduction, and horror even in its evolution. Also, great use of alliteration with "mysterious magic".
I'm wondering about the resistance to pollination, the survival of the bee, and the fact that it just so nonchalantly happened, as you write, in the end. Almost, unaccountable for the results, like young and careless love.
Excellent work here!
Prof. Cooper
Hey Lexie,
Wow! I love the subtle erotic tone of this poem. There are just so many textures in this one - feathery, warm, velvety, silky. Like the use of color pink...pink is universal for femininity and innocence. But one could also consider pink as stained white, so the pink may not be as innocent as it appears. Also smart to use a flower to describe the female in this poem. And I absolutely love that the female is dominant in this scene, she decides when to "work its mysterious magic" and the flower allowed the pleasurable caressing and enjoyed it. Awesome image of a fem fatale! I loved it..good job.
Denise Bateman
I love the symbolism in your piece! It is quite sexual but also innocent at the same time. Your contrast between the "velvety and warm" and the "deceitful toxin" gives a dark undertone to the piece, despite the initial imagery of the beautiful flower. It reminds me of a coming-of-age tale. I enjoyed your work!
Very unique work Lexie! The image of the flower and the depiction of the feeling of the flower where wonderful. I really enjoy how spontaneous and careless you made the pollination seem, it gives off a symbol of carelessness and frivolous behavior. I suggest adding more to the end, what happens?
I like the volta of the flower trapping the bee. The darkness of the flower enjoying the bee for dinner is another great part of the prose. Overall it is very figurative and leads the reader to think of the Venus Fly Trap or moreover, the black widow that eats her mate after breeding.
Thanks for sharing
Jason Faulkner
Hi Lexie!
This piece hit me like a ton of bricks. I don't know how else to explain it really. It's very erotic and dark, but also sweet, and innocent. I have to say that, that is a very intriguing mix.
I loved the initial imagery that your piece inspired. I instantly thought of a beautiful flower simply minding it's own business in a meadow somewhere. Then the dark eroticism began to creep in and I felt like the poem is symbolic of young love or any relationship that leaves only heartbreak and devastation in its wake. For whatever reason it starts of beautiful and innocent and then you give the relationship everything you have to be left alone....broken....shattered. It's a very powerful piece. I also appreciated how you used metaphor to describe love as a "deceitful toxin". It's like you expect love to be one thing, but that's just the deception at work because it turns into something so much more sinister and frightening.
I interpreted this poem to either be a warming about the dangers of love or simply the fear of being left irrevocably broken when it ends. I'm not exactly sure which.
Thanks for sharing this wonderful piece and I can't wait to read more of your work in the coming weeks!
~Crystal
Hi Lexie,
I enjoyed your piece very much. The way in which you describe each feature of the flower and the imagery that the descriptions cause. Good Work!
Deyanira Bustos
Lexie,
This poem has an immense amount of emotion init. The use of metaphor and simile were a great addition to this poem. It created depth and made me look past the words. The symbolism used here is very interesting and eye catching. Well done!
Lexie,
I really enjoyed the parallelism in the structure of your sentences. It brings this piece together to the flow and the form. I also appreciate the dark imagery of something beautiful, almost like it's setting up to be foreshadowing. I thoroughly enjoy the story as being a metaphor. I feel like many people can relate to the ignorance of the bee. I think it's interesting how you personify the bees. It makes me feel like there are many hidden messages in simple things and this takes it a step deeper. This is great and very thought-provoking
Thanks for sharing!
Claire Smithers
Lexie,
I really enjoyed this! You managed to describe pollination in a very sensual way making me think that pollination is just a metaphor. I liked the alliteration of “mysterious magic” because that can also describe a person’s charm among other things. The imagery of the flower was great in describing that the beauty is not so simple, but desirable. Great job!
Rebecca
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