Rebecca Moore
Joseph Cooper
CRWR 212
2/13/14
Marigold
It was
after church on Easter Sunday in 2005. I was 11. One of the women in the
congregation was telling me that her dog, a Brittany Spaniel, just had puppies.
Oh how I wanted a puppy. Mom had been considering my request for a about a year
on that day. I asked her again and though she didn’t say yes, she didn’t say
no.
We followed the woman and her
husband to their house out in the county. There they were, playing in the pen
out back while their momma watched, exhausted. She was beautiful and her babies
rambunctious as ever. They didn’t quite look exactly like her though. Turns out
the Irish Setter next door wandered into the yard a few months back and that
was that.
I ran up to the pen and knelt down,
petting them through the fencing. The woman asked if I wanted to go inside and
play with them. I looked up at Mom and when she smiled, I knew I was going home
with a new best friend. When I went in the pen with Mom, suddenly the puppies
were surrounding us! I was so scared that I’d step on one so I hardly moved. I
picked up each and every puppy I could reach, loved it, and put it back down.
It was so hard to choose! Looking around, I noticed that there was one puppy I
hadn’t loved. She was so tiny, the runt, with curly red fur on top and white
and red spots underneath. I picked her up, loved her, and put her back down,
just as I had done with all the others.
Unlike all the others, she didn’t run back to play with her siblings.
Instead, she started to climb up my leg, her little claws grabbing my tights. I
picked her up again, holding her tiny body in my hands. I knew she was the one,
not because I chose her, but because she chose me.
Mom, of course, had to have the
final approval. When Mom held her, the little puppy crawled on her shoulder and
nuzzled her neck wanting to be loved. Mom looked at me, smiled, and handed the
puppy back to me. The woman whose dog had the puppies was thrilled. I thanked
her and Mom and I left to go home. The whole car ride home the little puppy
cuddled on my shoulder, blanketed by my hair. We spent that car ride trying to
figure out a name for my new puppy. I looked at my puppy again, mesmerized by
that curly red fur. It was the same red as a marigold, and since we had a habit
of naming out pets after plants, that became her name. Marigold.
10 comments:
Hi Rebecca,
This story so wonderfully depicts the frivolity of youth. I think most children have this moment when they're younger, the desire for a puppy. So with that, you touch upon accessibility and connection with you audience. Well done!
I love the comedic aspect that trickles into a story so laden with anticipation and hope when you describe the Irish Setter having wandered in.
Your use of descriptive details and the recollection/embellishment that accompanies them paints a marvelous moment in time.
Though it is cliche to have chosen the runt of the litter, from a literature perspective, it captures the Realism and truth of your experience, and perhaps further the human condition that we are inherently drawn to the weak to help and nurture.
Provide more figurative language in your descriptions. Really explore the scene more vividly.
You do wonderful job of not rushing through the moment when you're looking for the perfect pup. I think the tendency is to "get to the point" but I can really feel, almost see your mind working over that decision.
And the name of your dog, also title, so whimsically caries us through this childhood scene.
Well done!
Prof. Cooper
I love the image of the puppy covered by your hair; it's a very cozy, intimate image. Finding a puppy is a wonderful moment and you did a great job of capturing that joy.
I love how you used the imagery of this piece. I could almost see the puppy as you held it. This piece brings back childhood memories to me. Absolutely love how this moment was depicted.
I could really feel the childish anticipation and excitement in this work. Lots of human connection with your readers. Most of us remember getting a new puppy, and I think all of us relate to having to get Mom's approval on such things. Love how you describe not picking a puppy, but having the puppy pick you. Its a tender memory and you did a good job of describing it for us.
Denise Bateman
I love the story it reminds me of going to pick up my little Charm and how she pan caked on my lap, while, as I left with her the breeder told the of how she would have nothing to do with the lady who came to look at her before. The story is very relatable to the audience especially dog lovers like myself. Consider expanding on the intensity of the presence in the moment through using more sight, sound, smell, touch language.
Thanks for sharing,
Jason Faulkner
I really like how we find out what the tittle means in the very end, it helps connect all the ideas. I loved all the details given about the puppy. Knowing how badly you wanted the dog helps us better understand why this was such an important event for you. The ride back home gave us an insight on how your relationship with you dog is.
--Monique Ahmad
Rebecca,
Another puppy story! I love how so many of us can relate to that special moment as children (and maybe even as adults…) getting to pick a puppy or kitten, and the excitement that goes with it. I thought your imagery and literal language did an excellent job of setting up the scene for the reader. I really liked experiencing this from your point of view as a child.
And the name Marigold is a beautiful name for a dog. Good job!
Hi Rebecca!
I loved your story! I'm a dog lover, so I know how special it is when the dog chooses you. I think the bond is stronger that way.
You were very descriptive, so it was like I could see you and your mom surrounded by puppies (great imagery!). It was a beautiful picture! I could also appreciate the excitement and anticipation of the story (the tone was very excited and hopeful). I also think it's interesting that the pup's name is Marigold. Marigold's are said to be symbolic of passion and creativity, so that equates to a very rambunctious puppy, which can be fun and frustrating all at once. Marigold's are also beautiful flowers that tend to brighten up yards just like I'm sure the puppy brightened up your life.
Thanks for sharing such a fun story with us! I look forward to reading more of your work in the coming weeks.
Hi Rebecca,
I really enjoyed this story because of how wonderful and exciting it is. I enjoy how you describe how you want a puppy and have wanted one. It is a very nice moment of you getting your first puppy. Good Job.
Deyanira Bustos
Post a Comment