Tell me Something Please
By Lexie Johnson
Momma momma tell me something please.
Does the sun really shine brighter on the other side?
Does time heal everything, even the brokest heart?
Will people ever care about anything other than themselves?
Will one day society stop being such a dick?
Momma momma tell me something please.
Did the heartless man once have a heart?
Do angels really help us when we're stuck in the dark?
Will starvation one day never be a problem in someone's home?
Will the monsters under my bed ever come to light?
Momma momma tell me something please.
Why is it so hard to achieve happiness?
Why can't I fall asleep when I'm hurt?
Why is the color of my skin such a big deal?
Why do people always judge?
Momma momma tell me something please.
Tell me that you'll always be here,
To help and guide me through the way.
Tell me that life is easier than the way everyone makes it seem.
Momma momma just tell me please.
10 comments:
Hi Lexie,
Your poem is so touching and reflective. The literal language you used helped you develop the theme of mothers always having the answer to a daughter's questions. Loved the repetition of same line "momma momma tell me something please" beginning each stanza of your poem, and thought it was effective to end the poem with the same line as it seemed to reinforce your theme. You bring up many social/cultural issues in your poem - race, hunger, bigotry, religion, heartache - all issues that we wish for answers on, and a natural place to start looking for answers and advice for most of us is with mothers. Your poem had almost had a song-like quality to it, the rhythm was very lyrical and had good flow. I enjoyed this much!
Denise Bateman
Hi Lexie,
I think this is a really exciting and innovative poem. You return us to a very inquisitive time in childhood where we inundate our parents with an infinite amount of questions. This is such an important time in life because we are absorbing all the ins and outs of this dysfunctional world.
Your practice of the quintain (five line stanza) is wonderful even if it doesn't accommodate traditional rhyme scheme; however I love that there is internal rhyme occurring throughout this piece. Also, your repetition of the opening line continues emphasizing the inquisition of daughter to mother.
You do a great job of touching upon several social/political issues such as race, starvation,religion, etc.
Also, you need to be sure to edit your work more closely as you have at least one error here:
"Does time heal everything, even the brokest heart?"
Brokest should be, most broken.
I might also think about clarifying your observations more specifically. Why is society a "dick"? What about judgement is so pertinent?
I might consider elaborating on this piece, tying in more figurative language to provide further explanation and clarity. What is the significance of these questions? Are there other questions essential to ask mother?
Wonderful piece!
Prof. Cooper
Lexie,
This is a really powerful poem. I love how you chose to write this piece from the perspective of a child. It really added on to the emotion of the poem. I love how you repeat "momma momma tell me please," it keeps reminding us that the speaker needs guidance. The rhetorical questions are very powerful and really have a huge impact on my understanding of the poem. They really got me thinking about these problems and also made me feel really bad for the speaker because he/she seems so lost.
--Monique Ahmad
Hey Lexi, I loved the childlike tone in your piece. The tone of the last few stanzas changes and gives off a slight sadness with the fact that she wants to know why the world is the way it is. Why do all of these little things matter? I enjoy how intellectual and innocent sides of the child blend together. The use of diction to show the simplicity of a child's point of view works well. I would suggest maybe adding more. I love that you use issues in society as underlying themes.
Hi Lexie!
Your piece definitely hit me hard this week. It’s so touching, honest, and downright emotional. I think we all have these questions as adults and hearing them come from a child is...I don’t know. It’s just so...in your face....does that make sense? It’s like adults can sometimes live in a bubble and not believe that children notice how difficult things are, but adults don’t live in a bubble and children do notice...often.
I really loved the repetition that you used (momma momma tell me something please...); It definitely complemented your theme of motherhood and mothers being seen as the all knowing power by their children. This also helped to portray the innocence of childhood and how that innocence is eventually tainted by the cold, cruel world. I also appreciated your use of rhyme (heart and dark). I also feel that your use of questions also helped contribute to the childish innocence (and anguish) of the piece.
This is a great piece and I can’t wait to read more of your work in the comings weeks!
~ Crystal
This piece is almost like a flashback to childhood, when everyone asks these difficult questions to their parents and teachers. You also weave metaphors throughout the whole piece, which creates a balance of the abstract and the concrete. The repetition also provides a nice rhythm. Good job.
Hi Lexie,
Your work was amazing. I love the way you use repetition at the beginning of each stanza when stating "Momma momma tell me something please" and then at the end of the poem you switch it up and state "momma momma tell me please". This is perfect because as they say "Moms always know best" and how we are in search for someone to be there and our mothers are usually the ones you will actually be there for us through out the end. This is a great example of how mothers are the ones that we need of the most. I also enjoyed all the questions that you incorporated into your work, they were very touching and very good examples of what should be asked to a mom by a curious child. Very good Job!!
Deyanira Bustos
Lexie,
Your piece was very thought provoking. I love how you bring to light the tough questions and the truths that are hard to swallow. I can hear the child' voice in my head, especially when the narrator says, "brokest hearts." It adds to the character of the narrator, the innocence and how they're still learning. It is tough when the youth starts learning of the cruel truths of this world and this piece displays that very well. I like your repetitive line in the beginning of the stanza, again showing the innocent character of the narrator since children often repeat things. This was very well done, thanks for sharing!
Claire Smithers
I like the theme and tone it makes me think of a little kid when they are asking questions. However, these questions are very deep and figurative. The poem invokes the reader to think about the reality of life. You did a great job with rhyme and rhythm to allow the reader to understand the image that you’re trying to project.
Thanks for sharing,
Jason Faulkner
Lexie,
I was actually quite moved by your poem. It was quite lyrical in the way it sounded in my head as I read it. I credit that to the rhythm that you set in your poem, especially with the repetition of the word "momma."
The overall tone of your poem was both melancholy (with the political/social/personal issues you bring up in the stanzas), and at the same time nostalgic. I often think my mom can fix everything, even if I know it's too big for any one person to fix.
Great job! It was a poem that really made me think.
Post a Comment